BEHIND THE PLAY #58

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In this issue:

• Updating the Canadian Men’s National Team trend lines in light of the CONCACAF Nations League Finals

• Building people one training session and game at a time.

Who’s up, who’s down on the CanMNT?

It was only two games but they were against our two World Cup co-host partners (and nemeses). A semi-final loss to Mexico where no one except maybe our centre backs looked too groovy and a redemptive third place game against the USA which saw us walk away with a convincing 2-0 win.

So not a lot of movement in the chart that I developed a few issues ago but definitely some as players like Dayne St Clair got a chance to show what he can do against quality opposition. Also noteworthy was the pairing of Cornelius and Bombito, which really shone, and a few veterans starting to look a bit long in the tooth.

These rankings are overwhelmingly about how players did in the context of these two games with club form taking a very back seat in the considerations made.

Here’s the chart. I removed players who didn’t play in these two games. I have to use a screenshot because this Beehiiv platform doesn’t like colours when I embed spreadsheets.

Big movers were Bombito and Oluwaseyi for me. No one really damaged their chances of being in the squad come World Cup time but Dayne St Clair was given a huge opportunity to show he deserves the starting keeper nod and really didn’t do enough to dissuade Jesse Marsch from sticking with Maxime Crepeau.

Next update after the two Canadian Shield games in June against Ukraine and Ivory Coast.

The compressed socialization sandbox that is youth soccer

I recently watched Adolescence on Netflix at the urging of a close friend. He’s English and was a teacher, now retired, so I see why it really resonated with him. Just tonight (I’m writing this, as usual, on the Sunday before it comes out), he sent me an article from the Times written by neuroscientist Sarah-Jayne Blakemore. She assesses what the show gets right and what it gets wrong about the teenage brain and what it is dealing with. I’m not going to get into the premise, plot or outcome of the show but this part caught my eye.

I’ve been a big believer in this, the sports part, for some time now. All kids should play team sports; preferably fluid ones where the players are making almost all the decisions and then acting on them. The level of play is irrelevant. Regular attendance at training and games is what’s relevant. So many kids are missing out on the subtle and not so subtle layers of in-person interactions with peers and adults that participation in team sports provides. Sports where play changes quickly and forces adaptation, communication, determination, physical effort, mental calculation and focus are critical to young brains and how they explore, develop, refine and instill the values and traits that society view as positive and necessary to be a high functioning adult.

No parent wants an 18 year old who is still entirely reliant on them and has embryonic social skills because we as their parent have not allowed them to confront the range of experiences that forge both personality and the confidence one needs to find a home for within that personality.

Kid needs a dose of leadership? Put them at centreback in a tough game and tell them to organize those around them with shouts and actions. Humility? Pull them off the field when they’re acting up and let them think about it. Generally leads to a bonus serving of empathy. Impulse control? Make them watch their teammates play short because of their red card and point out that their actions have a bigger effect on more than just them and the suspension they’ll get. Tolerance? Get them in an environment with teammates across socio-economic, racial and linguistic variances. Show them they can still all work together in training and games. Reliability? Insist they go to training when the weather’s bad to show they can be counted on. Accountability? Don’t let them blame teammates or coaches, or better yet as a parent, don’t model blaming others after a poor season by encouraging or facilitating a move to another team or club. Teach them that they also have a role in the team’s poor play and the best thing to do is stick around and be part of the solution the next season. This is a massively underrated benefit that’s available to players and is not leveraged by parents. It builds resilience which is the foundation of what we as parents need to engrain.

I have used my 2002 born son’s team that I coached as an example of this. They had a perfect arc from U13 to U18 that lead them through a full range of emotions and experiences that prepared them for adulthood. At U13 and U14 they were rampant. Won just about everything. Even medalled at the Provincial A Cup when they were at the level where teams entered the B Cup competition. U15 was more challenging but they still won their third league title. Now some players wanted to leave to play at a higher level and some others got complacent. U16 and U17 were a bit bewildering for them as they didn’t come close to their league or Cup success. There was frustration and confusion. The summer heading into U18 was a time where many had to figure out if they wanted another season that may not be easy while they were all spending far more time on school work to give themselves the best shot of getting into universities they wanted to attend.

I did two things as coach. I carried a much bigger squad than I normally would have knowing that attendance would be challenging due to the demands of school. It’s the same every year and I’d already seen it with my two older kids’ teams. I also reminded them at the start of the season that we had been trending up the last part of the previous season and had only been eliminated in the Coastal Cup (which precedes the Provincial Cup for those who qualify) in extra time by the team that went on to win it all. They saw a path that was feasible in terms of both balancing school and finishing with some success. In the end they won the league but the Cup was cancelled due to the onset of COVID. In five years, they experienced shared success and triumph out the gate, then had some setbacks to deal with and ask questions of themselves about. The resolved those questions and finished on a high with a fourth league title in their six year run. It came down to the last game of the season but they came through and at some level, conscious or sub-conscious added several coats of confidence, resolve and belief in themselves and others. Something that wouldn’t have been possible without the two years or frustration and confusion they had to fight through before their final year.

We are badly underestimating the values and traits that present themselves as opportunities for young people to absorb, being confronted with, reason with and allow themselves to be shaped by. The added bonus of all this socialization is that it comes with guardrails. Yes, your kid may get yelled at in a game by an opponent or teammate. They may get a knock or even worse. They may have to deal with horribly racist, demeaning language whispered to them so others don’t hear it. They may experience the unjustness of a bad call that results in losing a game, the embarrassment of being thumped 8-0. But they do so in the relatively safe and controlled confines of training led by an adult and games contained to a field and bounded by adults. These guardrails ensure nothing gets completely out of control.

They can go to training following a drubbing and see their teammates wanting to get better so it doesn’t happen again. Hear their coach say that racist language was unacceptable and that they are going to request a discipline hearing and do the paperwork to support you. That your teammates want you to come to training and games while you’re injured so you can still be around and they can still talk with you.

Your kids will be eighteen sooner than you think and the best parenting you can do is let those around you contribute to the physical, mental and social development of your kid. Your voice alone is not enough and you doing their homework, flattening bumpy roads for them, shielding them from the difficult social moments that both enrich and upset is not doing them the favour you think it is. Encourage environments that challenge them and forge independence and positive traits.

Make them go get their own part-time jobs. Make them be responsible for their schoolwork. Let them make friendships and lose them.

And, most definitely, have your kid play team sports.

Next issue: Monday, April 21